Mistake #1 of Five Mistakes Singles Make That Keep Them From Finding Love
Mistake #1-Attitude
After meeting thousands of singles, I've seen what people do that works or that
doesn't work when finding the love of their lives. One big issue is a person's
attitude. For example, people who are sick get well faster if they have a good
attitude. You hear people say all the time, wow, you have a good attitude, you
will most likely get batter faster. For singles, if they have a bad attitude
about the people they are meeting or how they are meeting people, it will turn
others off really fast.
Bad Attitude People: I've met plenty of singles who have a bad attitude
about being single, about their job, about life. In other words, they permeate
negativism. It is hard to be around these people. And they are usually clueless
about the way they are behaving. I've told people that they are in general being
negative and some people are floored when I tell them but for the most part,
they don't do anything about it and revert right back into this nasty habit.
If you think you are negative, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Changing your attitude
will change your life. If you are not sure if you have a bad attitude, just ask
people who know you and will give you an honest answer. I know people who are so
negative and can't understand why they can't meet anyone.
Good attitude: These are the people who other people gravitate towards.
People love being around people who are positive and upbeat. And it makes you
more attractive too. These are people who make lemonade out of lemons and you
can't shake their positive attitude no matter how negative you are towards them.
They will make light out of anything.
So the big question is, who would you want to meet? Who would you want to be
around? I think I know your answer.
Mistake #2 of Five Mistakes Singles Make That Keep Them From Finding Love -
Doing the same old thing with the same people
Ok, so the cliché is to "think outside the box", which is so overused but so
apropos. I have never been married and I attribute it to the fact that I always
thought I would just meet someone naturally. However, I hung around the same
crowd all the time and never met anyone new. I never ventured out of my circle
of comfort to try new things. So here I am still single. And the unfortunate
truth these days is we have to consciously go out and look for places to meet
singles these days. They just don't drop at our feet anymore.
So here are a few tips to get you out of the house and on to ways to broaden
your circle of friends and acquaintances.
~~ Take a class. Colorado Free University has classes covering many different
subjects. Many singles use Colorado Free University so this is a great start.
Check them out at www.freeu.com.
~~ Do things alone. Go out to dinner, to the movies, walk your dog alone. Men
are better at this than women. Women are always doing something with their
girlfriend and are afraid to do things alone. However, men are more likely to
approach you if you are alone. Of course, you will need to keep yourself safe
and be smart on where you hang out, public places are the best.
~~ Do something different. Go to the museum, the theater, IMAX or maybe the
park. Do something you normally wouldn't do. This gets you around a new set of
people automatically. I suggest you buy the Ultimate Entertainment Guide. It has
many different fun things to do in Denver. Scroll down for more information.
~~ Be bold and talk to some strangers. Ok, it is time to get over this feeling
of "don't talk to strangers" and get out there and strike up conversations with
new people. I always start with "how are you?" If I'm in an elevator and it is
only me and the other person, I just come out and say "how are you?" and there
you go, the conversation is started.
So just get out of your routine. Choose to do something out of the ordinary with
someone you normally wouldn't go with. Do something really wacky that is out of
the norm for you. And of course the cardinal rule is to HAVE FUN.
Mistake #3 of Five Mistakes Singles Make That Keep Them From Finding Love -
Letting an opportunity pass you by.
Ok, we’ve all done it. We see someone across the room
and they seem interesting. “Hummmm, what do I do? Do I go up and talk to
them? I’m too scared, I’m too shy.” Does this sound familiar. That little
voice inside our heads talk us out of introducing ourselves to this person.
Hey, we are just meeting another person on the planet! You don’t have to marry
them! Anyone would be flattered if someone came up to them and said “I really
couldn’t leave without at least introducing myself, my name is John (or Kathy.”
Oh and the other question is should women approach men first. OF COURSE THEY
SHOULD. Men love it. They are flattered as well.
Then the next question comes up. What happens if I make a
fool out of myself? What happens if they are taken or worse yet, married? Then
I’ve just humiliated myself. Well, I don’t think so. Why would someone think
badly of you by just introducing yourself? There is nothing more than that at
the moment. And if someone does think this is weird, then great, you’ll know
this is a person you don’t want to hang around with anyway.
Ok, this takes a little Gutzpah(is that a word?). It may
be hard the more shy you are but it sure will be a character builder and I don’t
think it is as hard as we make it out to be. Why not, you could be finally
introducing yourself to your soulmate. Remember, never let an opportunity pass
you by.
Mistake #4 of Five Mistakes Singles Make That Keep Them From Finding Love – Fear
When I got into the singles business I really didn’t know
how much fear is a factor that people have when it comes to going to events,
meeting for a date or even just getting out of the house to do something fun
with new people. I was really amazed at amount of energy it took someone to get
to a singles event. I realized it takes a lot of courage in many cases for
people to walk into a room of other strangers. They think they may be judged,
that it will be a “meat market” or that they may have to say “no” to someone who
may ask them out. So this fear many times is overwhelming and it keeps them
from getting out and meeting other singles.
Once when I had a singles event, a man told me that he
walked around the block 4 times before he found the nerve to walk in. Another
man who was terribly shy still found the courage somewhere inside himself to
come to one of my events. I gave him so much credit for coming but he sat in a
chair and didn’t talk to anybody and proceeded to drink 5 Sprites out of
nervousness.
Hey, this stuff is not that complicated, folks. We make
it harder than it really is!!! And if you go in with the right attitude(read
mistake #1), then you can have a lot of fun meeting new and different kinds of
people.
Mistake #5 of Five Mistakes Singles Make That Keep Them From Finding Love - Soon
to be posted.
