March 17th, 2007

Dating, Smating
How to have fun and date at the same time. 
By Beth Anderson 

I don’t know hardly anyone who says, YES, I just broke up with my boyfriend, now I get to date again.   I love it.  No, we do not look forward to dating at all.  As a matter of fact, some people stay in relationships too long because they don’t want to get out there again and look.  Actually, the dating part is not the bad part, it is the process leading up to the dating part that can seem arduous. 

However, if we want to meet someone, we most likely have to start the search again.  There are some people who have the attitude that they just think it will just happen and it can happen that way.  However, this person is most likely not sitting at home watching Desperate Housewives.  This person is taking classes, going out with friends, taking every opportunity to meet people.  It also takes a little longer if you don’t consciously look or it may never happen. 

Here are three simple tips on going from dreading dating to having fun? 

First, attitude is the key.  It is a change of a mindset we have about dating.  What needs to be done is to decide you are going to meet as many people as possible while having fun.  Start by taking classes you enjoy.  The word fun is the operative word here.  It is not about the other person, it is about you expanding your horizon. 

Second, go to many places where there are people, preferably where singles go.  Go to concerts or festivals.  Go skiing or hiking alone.  However, if you go somewhere alone, decide to introduce yourself to 10 people.  It may be people who have the booths at the festivals.  It may be the people you are sitting next to at a festival.  Usually people are in a festive mood and are very open to meeting people.  Go to single events(check out singlocity’s calendar of events.) 

Third, never and I mean never let an opportunity pass you by.  It doesn’t matter if you are a man or woman, if you see someone interesting that you would like to meet, don’t pass up an opportunity to meet them.  Lori Gorshow, owner of Dating Made Simple who is a dating coach told me of a story of a man who saw a woman who was with her girlfriends and there was eye contact and obviously a connection from both parties.  It was time for him to leave and he started heading out of the restaurant and turned back and went up to the woman and said, “I saw you across the room and I didn’t want to leave until I at least introduced myself, hello, my name is so and so.”  This took a lot of courage on his part but wouldn’t any woman be flattered, even if she was not available?  She would still be happy because he said it in such a non-threatening, easy way.  Remember, we are just meeting other people on the planet so don’t make a big deal out of introducing yourself.  See where it goes from there.

So summer is coming.  There will be lots of things to do outside.  So decide instead of looking to date someone, look to meet lots of people.  Have fun and go for it. 

To view other tips for singles, click here.