Are Your Desires Red Hot?!!

By Mary Ayers PhD

Co-Author of The Law of Attraction, In ACTION!

Last month we talked about the first step to attracting to you the life you desire.   Let’s do a quick review – first you have to ask for what you want, which as you might remember, isn’t always as easy as you thought!  So we played around with a couple of exercises designed to help your mind let go of resistance so that you could engage with your creative self which can think of all kinds of things it would love.

So let’s say that now you have this great list of stuff that you would love to have in your life.  Some of these things may be very specific, such as, a specific kind of car, or a specific amount of money that you would like to be making, or a vacation you would like to take.  Some of these desires may be still in the development stage – you may still be honing your desires about what kind of qualities you want in a relationship or you know you want to make a career change but aren’t sure of what that would look like.

You may be surprised to hear it’s not so much ‘what’ you want as it how you think you’ll feel when you get your desires.  Let me say it again because this is a biggie!!  What you really want is the ‘feeling’ you believe having this desire will give you. 

How do I know that?  Well, ask yourself, “How will I feel when I have (blank)?”  If it’s a relationship maybe you will feel loved or connected or be part of something bigger than yourself.  Maybe what you’re looking for in a different career is to feel that you are part of something that’s making a difference, or that you are putting your talents to use in a way that makes you want to jump out of bed each morning.  It is much more about how you believe you’re going to feel when you have your desires that are calling you!

So here is the secret to attracting your desires – they must be desires that are so delicious, so compelling, so absorbing they send you to a 10 of your Joy Meter.  Face it; if we only want something at a 6 we really won’t do whatever it takes to have it - it would be “nice” if we got it but it’s not a must.  What we really want in our lives are those desires that we get lost in or day-dream about, the ones that make us want to stay up late and get up early.  We want HOT!  More importantly, it must be at an 8 or higher on the joy meter if we’re going to attract it into your live. 

When you give thought to a desire that is an 8 or higher on the joy meter you give your mind a message that says “Remember this!”  As a matter of science, anytime you give your mind a highly emotionalized thought you are saying “Remember this!”  So you can easily see how it doesn’t matter if you’re saying ‘remember this’ to something wonderful or something painful, your mind will do it.  We want our minds to be selective to things in the environment that move us towards our desires.  If we give it a clear message of what to look for and we couple it with an emotional reason for ‘why’ we want it we have set ourselves in alignment with attracting the right people, experiences and ideas to us.

Let’s put your desires to the test.  Take out your list of desires and for each one ask yourself what having this desire means to you.  Now sometimes you have to dig a little deeper to find out what you “really” are looking for so keep asking this question until you get to the root feeling. 

Here’s an example from a conversation I had with a coaching client lately:

Question:  What is one of your desires?

Answer:  To have a beautiful home

Question:  What will having a home mean to you?

Answer:  I’ll have a place where friends and family can come and enjoy themselves.

Question:  How will that make you feel when you’ve got family and friends coming over?

Answer:  I’ll feel abundant because I get to share what I have with the people I love. 

Question:  Where does feeling abundant and being able to share that with people you love come to on the Joy Meter?

Answer:  It’s definitely a 10!

Now that she knows what she’s looking for she can begin to explore ways she can have this feeling now, even before she has the home she desires.  Why is that important?  Because when we feel these good feelings in our now not only are we living our desired life today (instead of “someday when”) but we are also attracting more of these good things to us!  The home (or career, or relationship) is just our belief in how we can feel this way and by discovering what it is we really are looking for we can get that feeling today.  Imagine how your life will be when you are living out your hot desires on a daily basis!!  Watch out world, here you come!

Check out Mary Ayers website at Live Your Best Life Now. 

For other past tips for singles, click here.